Some days I think I wouldn’t wish celebrity on my worst enemy. It’s hard to feel sympathy for someone like Jordan for instance, a person who strives to remain relevant long after any discernible ‘talent’ has dried up. That’s not to pick on Jordan of course, that statement can probably be applied to any number of models, reality stars, singers and actors. But the rule still applies to her. If you court the limelight the way some ‘celebs’ do then it makes it hard to turn around and claim an intrusion of privacy, not least when you’re actively calling around and arranging a time and place where you can ‘accidently’ be caught stumbling out of a nightclub.

All of this brings me, inevitably, to the Charlie Sheen show. On ongoing jugganaut of shameless self promotion, mental insanity and idiotic people calling themselves ‘fans’. It seems like no longer than a few weeks ago that Sheen went truly, publicly, off the rails. Truthfully that’s how long ago it was, but it feels a lot longer. Now with the launch of Sheen on stage it’s likely reached critical mass. There’s nowhere the Sheen show can go from here unless he somehow manages to convince those watching his Youtube channel that he’s the literal coming of Christ. An act which I’m sure will send his Father into a deep well of confusion.

I remember being one of those that laughed at Sheen’s antics initially. I’d read his quotes before I heard them, and the truth is that is was funnier that way. Reading a guy talking about Tiger blood and Warlocks is funny. Hearing the same guy actually say them is a whole lot sadder. If it’s true that Sheen passed a drug test after his now famous interview then it’s all the more worrying. Though to be fair there’s no such thing as a drug test per se, you have to test for a particular drug is my understanding. So while Sheen could test negative for Cocaine say, there’s still the possibility he’s on plenty of other drugs.

Like Britney Spears before him Charlie Sheen is engaged in a very public display of what I’m positive is technically called “Losing one’s fucking mind” . Sheen’s rantings are literally no different from that crazy homeless guy that everyone knows, but instead of throwing him some coins for a cup of tea we buy tickets to his show. His show, coincidentally, turned out to be a total washout with crowds booing, walking out and demanding refunds. Sheen is having none of it of course. Stripping off on stage, tweeting and playing tapes of his own weird manifesto is just a small glimpse into the mind of  a man who’s been given a very public platform to do just whatever he wants to.

For the ultimate end to this sorry tale look towards Michael Jackson, a man who was never allowed to be anything other than Michael Jackson the performer. So mentally scarred was he from living his life in the public eye that he spent most of his adult years trying to get back the childhood he didn’t have. Instead he was scorned and laughed at, because being crazy is just what celebrities do. Not to excuse his inappropriate behaviour towards children, which I think at best was a misguided attempt to feed his Peter Pan fantasy. There was nothing sexual in his actions, he was just so far gone that he didn’t comprehend the fact that anyone else could see what he was doing was wrong.

For me there’s only one thing worse than going crazy, and that’s no one noticing.