Paleohno

Hi, my name is James and I’m one of those people. You can usually see me eating leftovers for lunch and some strange concoction for breakfast. You may have noticed my drinking some sort of herbal tea, perhaps a Peppermint or if I’m feeling fancy then Liquorice. You may offer me a biscuit or even a finger of your Kit-Kat. I will nod apologetically and decline and you might ask “On a diet are you?”. I’ll answer that yes I am and that I eat Paleo now.

Now it’s your turn to look apologetic. I can see the look on your face. Oh great, you think, here comes the lecture. It’s ok, i’m one of those people but I’m not one of those people. if that makes sense. I’m not going to tell you how we’re supposed to eat, about how grains are just bad for you. Truth is I love grain, I love sugar, I love wheat. The problem is I probably love those things a little too much. And that’s ok, that’s just the way I am. If I had more willpower I’d try the whole ‘Everything in moderation’ thing. But I don’t, so I can’t. For me ‘moderation’ turns into a constant, and so the wheel ever turns.

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Basically how people see me.

I don’t really care about extolling the virtues of one diet over another, fads or otherwise, (Or calling something a diet to begin with) and I certainly don’t care about convincing you that what I’m doing is the right way of doing it. I’m not even entirely convinced by the science behind eating Paleo to begin with – at least to a certain extent – I mean it’s obvious that eating meat, vegetables and fruit is going to be better for you than a bag of crisps and a mars bar, but I’m not sure I completely buy the claims made by the more fervent fans on the diet. Those are pretty easy to spot though, since they usually look angry and/or confused as they work out if the apple in their hand really would’ve been eaten by a caveman (It’s actually a well known fact that Cavemen, like Danny Zuko, love a PInk Lady). They’re also usually broke, since they’ve spent all their money buying meat that’s been grass fed. And they always look so tired, from chasing down animals and clubbing them to death. These are basically pushers, and are akin to those people that REALLY want you to join Weight Watchers with them because it changed their life and now it has to change yours otherwise they’ll simply die. You know the type.

So It’s true that my evenings are usually made up of cooking, then eating, and then cooking some more for the next day. Sometimes, while I’m slaving away, I’ll hear someone laugh as they pass my kitchen window and I’ll remember what fun sounded like. And yes it’s also true that it’s hard to fit that in amongst all the other things I have to do (Like write this – I started it a week ago) but the real truth of the matter is this: I enjoy it. Now there are degrees to my enjoyment. I enjoy that I’m cooking a lot more since I love cooking, I’m just not that keen on the amount of time it takes me. It’s also true that I really like eating fresh produce, if I don’t necessarily like the cost associated with it. But on the whole? I like it and it’s good for me. More importantly, it works for me. I feel better for doing it.

So it’s high time to accept that I am a certain type of person. I’m not quite a zealot, but I’m not super casual about it either. I love my cheat day (Every Saturday in fact, where I get to indulge with Roast Beef Monster Munch and a Star Bar) and I like looking forward to my cheat day. I even think that everything tastes better on my cheat day. Maybe I’m imagining it but…who cares? For me it works, and that’s what counts. I’m a moderate success – which rather sums me up.

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