Directed By: Michael Gornick

“This hair’s gonna get me paid ‘n laid!”

Remember those positive feelings I had for Creepshow well it’s the opposite for Creepshow 2. 

Mediocrity is so uninteresting. It’s not good enough to get excited about and not bad enough to get angry over. Instead there’s a general apathy towards something if it’s just mediocre. It’s one of the worst things a movie can be. 

There’s no real guiding hand this time. Romero is the scripted writer but not a Director, and King is absent here, though I understand he suggested two of the stories with the third being a straight adaptation of a short story of his. Unsurprisingly, it’s the King adaptation that works best, so lets talk about that one. 

The Raft, based on the story of the same name, is simple enough. A bunch of kids float out on a raft in the middle of a lake, they spot a black slick on the surface. And it happens to eat them. There’s no way they’re getting out of it and so King’s story counts down the time until there’s nothing left. It’s a hopeless situation, and a great, if brief, page turner.

It’s no surprise it makes the best segment, even if the film makes one odd change. In the story the last two kids have sex, partially to keep away the cold and partially because of the gravity of their situation. It’s a brief human moment, except the movie changes this to where the boy feels up the girl while she’s sleeping. It’s an unnecessary change and I’m still not sure of the point of it. It also features my other pet hate, where a movie cheats just to supply a cheap sting at the end. No spoilers here but the slick suddenly behaves in a way that if it would’ve done earlier then the whole thing would’ve been over sooner and only does it for a cheap gag. King ended his story perfectly fine, I don’t see why this one had to end any differently. 

Sadly the other segments are not enough. Old Chief Woodenhead takes far too long to get going and when it finally does then it’s over too soon. The Hitchhiker fairs better but it suffers from the most annoying lead character I’ve seen in a long time. So we’re just left with fond memories of The Raft. My advice is to avoid the movie, find The Raft on Youtube or pick up Skeleton Crew – the short story collection it was taken from – then just watch Tales From The Darkside. It’s almost as good as Creepshow, plus it has Debbie Harry.